Therapy

One of the best things about going to a therapist is that someone has to sit there and listen to you bitch because they’re paid to do that.  But it is nice to be able to vent without annoying friends and family. I don’t know if it’s doing much good right now, it’s only been [...]

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A suit of guilt

At first, putting a name to the hell I’ve been experiencing for the past few years was like euphoria.  A vindication, in a way, that my belief that it wasn’t just alcoholism that was causing all the problems.  Indeed, it may not even be alcohol causing the problems. But the more I read and the [...]

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Borderline Personality Disorder

For a long time I’ve felt that my SO’s problem was a lot deeper than just alcoholism.  I knew there were some other issues that she had gone through and felt that those issues had a lot to do with this desire to drink.  I was on a web site reading about something unconnected with [...]

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Downhill Slide

There have been a lot of things happening lately.  Not one of them has been good. Let’s recap the adventure a little. I had finally had enough of the drunken nights when I would get yelled at, have stuff thrown at me, be insulted, or be told how we needed to get a divorce.  I [...]

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I’m still around and still alive.  But all is not well, really.  The user is still around, still trying to make me feel guilty for wanting my life back, totally incapable of running their own life.  Problems abound and a prison sentence is imminent. But I am different.  I am able to say no, I [...]

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An Update

I haven’t been around for some time.  I apologize for this.  Also, thanks to everyone for their kind words and well wishes.  They mean a lot to me and this is a surprisingly difficult time to get through, believe it or not. So, let’s see what’s been happening. I have my apartment.  It’s nice.  There’s [...]

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The End Has Come

I decided to stop living in fear and apprehension.  In fact I took my own advice and moved out.  Unfortunately, things are going to be pretty tough for the first month or so. On the other hand, it’s awfully nice to not have to worry about being yelled at, insulted, having my stuff broken, and [...]

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The Knotted Stomach

Everything was going fine yesterday.  Work was fine and I was doing my thing.  Then my spouse called.  After a few minutes of listening to nonsense my spouse decides that we should go out to eat. Instantly, my day crashed.  I had knots in my stomach.  I felt chilled and ill.  I was even angry [...]

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Break Out The Gorilla Suit – It’s Friday

The spouse has been gone for a couple of days on a business trip.  I wish they were more frequent because I enjoy the time away.  Even though I have to take care of the house, the kids, make meals and work it always feels like I’m on a kind of vacation when the spouse [...]

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Reflections in the cesspool

Here we are on another Friday.  I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to read and write in my own blog for a change.   The aftermath for Tuesday night was non-existent.  No apologies, no explanations, no anything.  It was buried and forgotten about.  I didn’t bother to bring it up again; I’d made my feelings [...]

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